Boundaries and parents..Do you have them?

Hello coffee lovers,

I hope all my readers are doing well and getting some good weather despite the rain. It's mother’s day and I wanted to talk about something different like boundaries. As mothers we take on a role that changes the rules from time to time.

Boundaries between a mother and her child naturally envelope as a child grows,shifting from physical care to emotional and psychological support. In early childhood,mothers often serve as a primary care taker,with little space for perineal boundaries due to the child's complete dependency. As the child gains independence -through school friendship and personal interest -mothersmust gradually adjust  their role,stepping back to allow room for growth.

This transition can be emotionally complex,as the bond forged through constant presence begins to loosen,requiring the mother to redefine her sense of purpose and involvement.

These shifting boundaries can deeply affect mothers,often stirring feelings of loss,uncertainty,even guilt. Many mothers struggle with letting go,fearing their child may no longer need them in the sameway.  At the same time,there can be a sense of relief and rediscovery,as new space allows for personal growth ,career focus,requiring emotional reliance and a willingness to adapt to the changing dynamics of the parent-child relationship.

As children grow, especially during adolescence, they often begin testing limits and asserting  indeonced in ways that may come across as defiance. This can include talking  back,disregarding house rules,or challenging parental authority outright. In  these moments,children may intentionally or unintentionally  cross emotional and behavioral boundaries,pushing against the structure their parents have set. This boundary-testing is often a natural part of identity formation,as they explore who they are outside of their parents' influence-but it can still feel like betrayal or rejection to be a parent.

For parents,these boundary crossing can be partially painful,as they may interpret the child's defiance as a rejection of their care valves or what they originally had planned for their child's life. When talking to children or other parents about boundaries it does not alway go well but if talked about in a respectful way it can be a better understanding and less dramatic when doing so. 

Here are a three things as parent and children should know about Boundaries:

1)Respect for privacy:

Yet they are our children and we want to know every second of their lives ist good to respect their privacy and if they feel comfortable enough to tell us,it means you did something correct.

As for us parents we also need privacy and needing time alone is a great factor in thinking clearly and making right decisions. 

2)

Understanding emotional Boundaries:

Let the children know that as parents we have feelings too and what they may say, might make us feel some type of way. As for parents it's okay to express needs and say no or feel too tired to do something. You don’t have to feel guilty when it comes to children. There are other times where they will need you more,but you can’t be there for them if you are not taking time for yourself. 

3)

Limits on Behavior :

 

Children can learn that certain behaviors-like interrupting,yelling or demanding attention-aren't appropriate and respect that communication is the key.If you give them  the attention they speak while not seeking it properly they will seem to think it's okay and do it time and time again. Let the children know that the focus is not always on them and you are not going to take that type of disrespectful behavior.

To all my readers I am not trying to be unkind-it’s just important for everyone to have healthy boundaries. They help us respect each other and build stronger  relationships in the long run.

To all my readers,I hope you enjoyed our mothers day conversation and as always.i'll see you Lattee.

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